Thursday, March 8, 2012

Mom and Dad

This is one of the few (not sure if there are any others at all) photos of my Mom and Dad together.
My Mom said she didn't remember who took it.
But taking the angle and the fact that nobody else is around, I would say it was me. A young me.


Why I'm posting this? 
Because today is #G+InternationalWomensDay and +Women of a Certain Age has asked to post photos of women who inspire.

I never (in younger years) thought of my Mom that way.
Only after many years away and overseas I came to realize what she had done all those years.

Soon after I was born my Dad was diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis) and had to stop working.
That was around '75.
First big fallout with the family on my father's site, hence my grandfather, for besides many other things calling him a Fake.
My Mom didn't take that and told them to go to hell.

The wheelchair soon followed and from there my Dad's mobility went down the hill.
My Mom took care of him for over 12 years, working a full time job besides.
That means in the later years she had to take him out of bed, into the wheelchair, out of the wheelchair onto the toilet, toilet wheelchair, wheelchair into electric wheelchair so he could go out,...... you get the picture.

During those days we didn't get no help from anybody. No nurses coming to the house or such.
When I was 15 my Dad decided to go to a nursing home in Trier. He liked it there and had some peace and Liberty.

All folks in town saw, was that my Mom abandoned him. I don't know how much shit she had to take from folks who didn't even get half the picture of what was going on at home.

I love my Dad to pieces, but I often really hated him when he called me every few minutes to do an errand for him, even when my Mom was nearby and told him she would do it.
I was back in my room, trying to do homework or whatnot and there he went again.

Things got much better for us when he was in Trier. I was soon old enough to get my own car and visit him by myself and that was around the time I told him to stop bossing me around. Coffee first, then work ;)

Anyway, it took me many years to really realize what my Mom had done all those years.

Looking back and trying to imagine me at her age with a Baby and a sick husband. That really opened my eyes.
The death of first my father, a year later her brother and another two years later my Grandmom brought us closer together.
We also made peace with my father's mother (it was never her fault anyway).

Today my Mom and I are closer. We sat together many times on my last visit and spent time knitting, talking and laughing.
Me knitting, one thing she never thought she would ever see ;)

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